It should be obvious, from the date stamps if nothing else, that I haven’t updated my Star Trek blog in a very long time. This blog is kind of about Star Trek, but it’s mainly about our relationship with Star Trek and how we react to each episode (even the bad ones) as viewers more than it’s about the individual episodes themselves. Otherwise, we could just have a blank entry with a link to the Memory Alpha summary for every episode, and the project would be complete in no time. If we didn’t enjoy Star Trek, warts and all, we wouldn’t be doing this.

Star Trek is, even when things are going badly, a basically optimistic series, in my experience. Maybe Deep Space 9 will be a little less so than the original series and Next Generation, but the core idea is still that there is this huge, voluntary body devoted to fostering peace and exploring the galaxy available to anybody who wants to be a part of it, and that’s something that almost any nerdy kid, or adult who used to be a nerdy kid, can get behind.

Not to get too bloggy here (on, um, my blog), but I have not been feeling too terribly optimistic myself lately. I’ve been out of work and have had some upsets in my family, and for the last several months I have just not felt like I could get into Star Trek. Things have turned around a bit lately, or maybe I’m just looking at them differently, but either way, I am going to be slowly getting back to it. So here’s some Trekbloggin’, about a pretty middle-of-the-road episode of DS9.

Oh, and by the way, though it took about the same amount of time to complete, I would say this is about the fastest entry on the entire site, having an average speed of 75-ish miles per hour - it was written entirely on Route 95 North in North Carolina and Virginia, with only some minor edits and formatting done while stationary at home.

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Invasive Procedures at Memory Alpha

The opening log entry tells us that a “plasma disturbance” has necessitated a partial evacuation of DS9, leaving only the main cast on the station. Quark’s presence seems a little forced - “not enough room on the shuttle,” we are told. Despite plasa storms being relatively rare, this evacuation is played off as a rather routine event, the kind of thing Starfleet knows how to deal with, so no big deal. Plus, it saves a packet on extras, costumes, makeup, craft services, etc.

I’m not sure if it’s a trick of memory or if there’ve just been some major advances since season 1, but the special effects are looking particularly crispy this episode. Or maybe, since it’s such a talky episode, they just had a bit of extra money in the budget for this one.

The title refers to a crew of space pirate-types invading the station while it is conveniently understaffed, using the old fake distress call routine, and with help from Quark, who they betray almost immediately.

The most hilarious thing that will happen in this episode occurs really early on, when the raiders force Odo into a sort of jar situation and shove him in the freezer. This is exactly what I would do first if I were invading DS9, because a clever writer can use Odo to solve pretty much any problem with enemy personnel all by himself. Which, of course, he will in this very episode, after Quark redeems himself for betraying the crew by helping Bashir get Odo out of the fridge.

The pirates work for this sad-sack mumblybum trill who wants to steal Dax’s symbiont, Dax. I guess I should say Jadzia’s symbiont? They always call her Dax, though, like maybe Dax is really the one in charge? I kind of wish they got into this a little more in the episode.

They prove that they’re serious by shooting Miles, so I hate the hell out of them pretty much from jump, but it’s not so much because of the raider characters themselves as it is because I am so flower units for dear Miles.

Odo and Sisko do the hero thing and put Dax back where he (she?) belongs, but we never really get any followup with the whole Quark-compromising-station-security thing.

One of the reasons I like Sisko so much is that he can be such a bastard sometimes, like when he shoots Weepy McTrillpants, even though it could hurt Dax, and that he makes a slightly pithy comment before doing so. It reminds me of Kirk’s more cowboyish antics, only played less as brash posturing and more as an assurance that, no matter what, Sisko will Get the Job Done.

* Sisko asks Dax if she knows the trill in the pirate crew. Is this some sort of space racism? How would he feel if Dax was always asking him if he knew every human they ran across? Honestly.
* The nervious, stammering bad guy is tough to pull off, and it doesn’t exactly work here.
* Jadzia’s fake stomach looks just super fake.
* Holy crap, so does Dax itself. Like a stress ball covered in latex vomit.
* Avery Brooks gets all smirky with the alien pirate lady, even though Ben Sisko is supposed to be all mad at her. Does somebody have a cruuuush?
* Sisko’s main weapon is friendship, both his own and others’. And a potent weapon it is!
* Quark is a hacker.